New The Bruery Releases

Where are the posts?  I have been swamped with work, blah, blah blah.  I have to play some beer drinking catching-up.  There are two Stone Vertical Epic 10.10.10s in my fridge, one I bought a week that I've unbelievably let sit, and last week I had a fantastic Port Brewing High Tide Fresh Hop IPA on which I need to post.   Then today I received an email from The Bruery announcing its newest beers.  Here are the descriptions of The Bruery's latest installment of its Twelve Days (Beers) of Christmas and its homage to Orange County:

3 French Hens
The third in our collection of Winter seasonal ales, 3 French Hens is getting ready to hit shelves in early November and we couldn’t be more excited. For those who had the opportunity to try Partridge in a Pear Tree or Two Turtle Doves you know that we don’t go light on our 12 Days Of Christmas beer series. While this year’s batch doesn’t include the toasted pecans and cocoa of last year, it’s equally complex and possibly even more delicious, if that is really possible.

A Belgian dark strong ale, 3 French Hens was partially aged in – you guessed it – French oak barrels. Chocolate and pumpernickel come through instantly as well as a fragrant spice character from our house yeast strain. While only 25% is aged in French oak, a lovely Cabernet-like character comes through as the beer warms. Perfect for a cold winter night and ideal for cellaring until 12 Drummers Drumming is released. 10% ABV

Loakal Red

Our tribute to the growing Orange County beer scene. We brewed up this oak-aged hoppy red ale that will be released only in our home, Orange County. A hoppy red ale at heart, we, like many other SoCal brewers, chose the citrus & floral notes of the Centennial hop to balance the light caramel sweetness of the malt.  But, of course, we couldn’t leave well enough alone.  So a portion of an older batch, left to mature in new American oak barrels, is blended with the fresh dry-hopped batch.  The resulting blend has notes of toffee, orange peel, crushed herbs, vanilla & freshly sawn oak, for a beer that is intricate yet unassuming.
6.9% ABV

These two beers sound really good.  I like hoppy red ales as compared to malty Irish or Scottish red ales, so Loakal Red should be a treat.  (Is it irony or subversion, random or coincidence that The Bruery's tribute to Orange County is a "red" ale, when Orange County was the cradle of the virulent anti-communist John Birch Society in the mid-twentieth century?  I'd like to think it is subversive.)

The Bruery's copy for Loakal Red is ridiculous.  This "unassuming" beer "chose the citrus & floral notes of Centennial hops" to balance the "light caramel sweetness of the malt," and a portion was aged in oak barrels and a portion was dry-hopped, resulting in a beer that tastes of "toffee, orange peel, crushed herbs & freshly sawn oak."  Freshly sawn oak?  Is "sawn" even a word, and who knows what sawn oak smells like, let alone tastes like?  There is no way this beer will be "unassuming," even if half the mumbo-jumbo above is true.  Of course, I am just poking fun at The Bruery, because most breweries are now writing similar nonsense about their beers.  The blame for over-the-top beer descriptions lays at the feet of Stone's Greg Koch who's narratives get more hyperbolic with each new Stone beer.   Here is a portion of Koch's label description for Arrogant Bastard, the label that spawned hundreds of unworthy imitators.  

The first time I read the post on Loakal Red, I pretty much stopped after reading after seeing that The Bruery is making a red ale.   That was all I needed to know.